Treading Touchy Territory

You'd Be Pretty If You Lost Weight

 Venus at the Mirror - Peter Paul Rubens

In an earlier post I mentioned how much I hate getting even the most well-intentioned advice regarding my weight. I appreciate direct honesty much more than sideways hinting but still, unless you are my Doctor, if you are talking to me about my weight you are walking on very thin ice.

I probably know more than most people about nutrition and I despise being talked down to but lets dig down deeper into the real “meat” of this topic. When someone gives me weight-loss advice I very rarely hear it as helpful or kind. I hear it as complete rejection of myself as a human being. I hear that I am not OK. I hear that I am not worthy. I hear that I am not loved. Of course I hate it!

When I was younger I was told more than once that I’d be pretty if I lost weight. I never thought, “Gosh really? Maybe I should lose some weight.” What I thought was, “So, I’m not pretty. Fuck you, you fucking asshole.” Maybe I shouldn’t be quite so touchy but this is very touchy territory. This is also just the queasy, icky connection between food and self-loathing that I want to expose to the healing sunlight.