Pepsi? Fries? Deathwish?

Did I really have a Pepsi, a halibut burger & fries for dinner yesterday? Well, yes I did. Even after listening to Jamie Oliver? Uh, yeah. Am I crazy and trying to commit suicide? Well....

The Suicide Weapon

I've been broke, eating rice and whatever else was hiding in the back corners of the fridge while waiting for pay day. This had me pretty vulnerable to making poor food choices. I'd just worked a long day and was meeting a High School kid at Jimmy's Cafe to talk about a project. That was all it took. Yes, I could have ordered a salad instead of fries but the salads at Jimmy's just don't look that good. I wanted something satisfying... like fries and tarter sauce.

Frida with Parrots by Paula Linares

I think the key here is to not give up. Because really, if I just have fries & tartar sauce a few times a year it might not kill me. Which all leads me to wonder if I'm seemingly magnetized to suicidal eating because I have a subconscious death wish? Meeting as Jimmy's was my idea. I've read that cigarette advertisements tap into the deep, dark, death wish region of our subconscious. Like anyone, I've had moments when I've thought "Oh shit, just shoot me". But no, I think my will to live is strong. I better go do some yoga.

Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution

Jamie Oliver's TED award Speech

Poverty and Obesity

Poverty Rangers by Jonny Starwind

Studies show that poverty is linked to obesity. In the British study, Poverty and Obesity, from the Social Issues Research Center, Bob Holman, who quit academia to work on projects in socially deprived areas, says... "This is not rocket science. Poor health is a well known feature of deprivation. Mothers are not daft and they do know fat and crisps are bad for children but they can't afford the alternative. The government has to give them means. Initiatives are not going to change anything unless you've got the cash in your pocket. If you buy a salad at Sainsbury's, it's still very expensive."

This is not even to mention the stress and insecurity that effect the emotions of living in poverty. As far as fruits and vegetables go I still have half a tub of spinach and some chard but only half a jar of applesauce, no money, and it is still 3 days till payday. Fruits and vegetables are suppose to be the big fat bottom of my food pyramid. At times like these, which come way too often, I am much more likely to take any food that is offered to me such as left over muffins or birthday cake at work. I have plenty of rice and lentils on hand but fresh fruits and vegetables are perishable and more expensive than starch. Planned diet rules can go out the window at times like this.

The emotional anxiety of poverty also takes its toll. When I did the yoga exercise recently to deal with negative emotions, most of mine, sorrow, rage and fear, relate directly to my seeming inability to make a decent living. Not for lack of education. I have a Masters degree. It's not stupidity. I graduated with highest honors. I'm just working for a low budget non-profit for $10 an hour. Constrained by lack of money I can not live where I want, I can not do what I want, and a few days before pay day, I can not even eat what I want. Plus, if someone offers me a cookie or some Macaroni and cheese at a time like this... I am likely to take it.

The Blue Dress

The Blue Dress

OK, here's the deal. I bought this dress last summer as a possible dress to wear to my nephew's wedding. But, it was a little too snug so I wore something else. I just tried it on. It is still too snug to wear and puckers where it shouldn't. But I really like this dress and would love to wear it with lots of beads to a summer wedding. So, I therefore make it my goal to wear this dress to my friend Sue's daughter's wedding on Lopez this June. That's 2 months from now. Almost exactly.

Yoga and the Emotional Aspects of Weightloss

Yoga DVDs From Ravi Singh and Ana Brett

The Mayo Clinic DVD, Wellness Solutions For Weight Loss, also recommended yoga and part of the DVD features yoga with Rodney Yee. Last night I was too tired to make it all the way through my dance routine so I split the time between two of my chosen activities (see: the President's Fitness Challenge) and got out my yoga DVDs. On the DVD Fat Free Yoga with Ravi Singh & Ana Brett I stumbled into a meditation for healing emotions. "If you can feel it you can heal it" says Ravi as he lead me through feeling sad, fearful, and angry. After feeling each emotion we then cleansed and healed them with the mantra SA TA NA MA primal Sanskrit meaning birth, life, death, rebirth. None of these scary emotions were hard for me to reach.

Emotional Eating

One day last week after an unusually stressful time at work I picked up take-out from the Thai Restaurant in town. It's fairly healthy food. I got rice, veggies and chicken curry. I usually get the double portion so I have both my lunch and my dinner taken care of but that day I went right home and ate the whole thing. I hardly realized it until it was gone. This is the crazy part about the weight issue and it was addressed by the Mayo Clinic as a critical aspect of changing your life and losing weight. Yoga is recommended because it not only heals the physical body but helps to heal stress and other emotional challenges.

Yoga Meditation

Dark Chocolate - The Peak of the Pyramid

In the Mayo Clinic DVD, Wellness Solutions For Weight Loss, the doctor who gave the guided grocery shopping trip, bless him, recommended dark chocolate. This really won me over. Mind, its small amounts only. Sweets are the very tip of the pyramid above oils. Kind of like how the Egyptian pyramids originally had tips of gleaming gold. Here is the pinnacle of our beautiful food pyramid.

Chocolate: The Tip of the Food Pyramid

Dark chocolate has flavanoids and that is the key. White chocolate does not have flavanoids so the darker the chocolate the better. Dark chocolate has been shown to lower high blood pressure and cholesterol and help prevent coronary events.

Agave is the Devil

One possible culprit, or I might even say, Satanic Temptation device, contributing to my recent weight gain may have been this Organic Agave natural wholesome low glycemic sweetener with the whole earth and a pretty cactus on the label. What was not to love? I confess to cavalier use of this substance that sadly turns out to be even worse than corn syrup.

Resource: Agave Good or Bad at Food Renegade

The Troublsome Nature of Female Flesh

First off, wouldn't I love to look like the gorgeous Ashley Graham? Yes, I would. This plus size lingerie commercial featuring Ms. Graham was rejected for the 8:00 time slot by ABC and Fox television on the grounds that it is too racy for the family hour. This is in spite of the fact that they show Victoria Secret commercials at all times. I guess the Television executives are confirming that those skinny Victoria Secret models are not nearly as sexy as a full figured woman with real boobs.

Lane Bryant's Controversial Ad


Model Ashley Graham Addresses the Issue

Sainity From the Mayo Clinic

Searching for a sane way to relate to food I turned to a trusted name in health care, the Mayo Clinic. I got their Wellness Solutions For Weight Loss DVD from Netflix (rated 5 stars) and I do recommend it. It had a friendly Dr. take you shopping in a grocery store, they recommend yoga and meditation, exercise and a food pyramid solidly based on fruits and vegetables, it had interviews with people who are losing weight. It even contains a section of yoga instruction with well known yoga teacher Rodney Yee. There is also a wealth of sound information on weight loss on the Mayo Clinic Website.

Today I looked into my basket at the grocery store and tried to size it up in terms of the Mayo Food Pyramid. A big tub of spinach and a bunch of bananas, an onion. I am getting a little better at moving more veggies and fruits into the pyramid chart of my food consumption but it is still not quite the solid base the Mayo Clinic recommends.

My Presidential Badge

My Presidential Fitness Badge

I'm still dancing. Not every day but often enough to earn my Presidential Fitness Badge. As goofy as it may seem, being responsible to my red star chart on the Presidential Fitness Challenge website really is helping me keep going. I can tell the difference when I don't do it or do "House-hold Tasks" for my activity instead of dancing. House-hold tasks just isn't the same. I've adjusted my playlist of music videos and some nights I dance my way through my music videos alternately watching segments of the Rachel Maddow show... but I'm doing it.

My Red Star Activity Log

It was really hard to get back on track after realizing that I'd gained 15 pounds (see former post). I'm so out of shape I don't even feel like going for a walk. This program and dancing is one thing that is working for me. Thank you Mr. President! Yes we can!

Yes We Can!